Yoga for your Face
You don’t watch the Real Housewives franchise for lessons in motherly bonding and domestic diligence. There’s already a show for that and it certainly doesn’t air on Bravo. No, your remote guides you every week to the Real Housewives of Name-Your-City for fatuous levels of conspicuous consumption, drama, and middle-aged foolishness.
Sometimes you learn something new. For example, last year the housewives of New York tested a new anti-aging treatment. It’s called facial yoga, and it looks about as ridiculous as it sounds.
It’s so ridiculous that I convinced myself that it must be amazing. After all, the most remarkable trends started out completely unconventional and misunderstood (consider Zumba, Twitter, and skinny jeans as key examples). I had to give it a try if only to sustain my reputation as the informed and eccentric member in my circle of friends.
According to enthusiasts, facial yoga is a series of specific face exercises that slow visible signs of aging. The claim is that the face contortions strengthen muscles in key areas that support skin, while relieving facial tension. Facial tension, proponents argue, is what leads to wrinkles. Doctors aren’t quick to agree though, and some state that these exercises can actually increase wrinkle development.
Facial yoga can be practiced anywhere, although I strongly recommend that you exercise restraint and practice in the privacy of your home. Public displays of facial yoga may result in frightened children and inquires regarding your state of mind.
After practicing facial yoga I found that the poses were insufficiently named. Here are a few of my favorites and their improved descriptive titles.
*(“Free Your Tongue” is shown at the top of the post)
Though I don’t know if my limited practice of facial yoga defended my face from wrinkles, it did make me laugh. A lot. And laughter is an anti-ager too, no?